Wednesday, October 12, 2011
it's been awhile since i've had the feeling of truly being in deep shit. and yet i'm just here, doing nothing and waiting for myself to finally sink into despair.
if this goes on i'm just gonna destroy everything i've built up for myself.
i was never like this, i hate myself for being like this, and my heart hurts to see myself in such a situation.
or is it from fear?
oh how terribly i have fallen.
right now i just couldn't face my dreams anymore, and i am ashamed to still say that i do want to succeed.
because i don't deserve to. and i know that i don't deserve to.
i need to pull myself together again. i need to force myself to start doing again. because it's the only thing i'm living for.
Nini @ 8:56 PM
Sunday, March 06, 2011
When had you ever truly understood how I felt, or did you even bother to?
When was the last time we messaged each other?
When was the last time you replied my messages?
When was the last time we had a proper conversation?
When was the last time you actually tried to carry out a proper conversation with me?
When was the last time we went out together?
When was the last time we went out because you asked me to?
When was the last time we even had a meal together?
When was the last time you had asked me out for a meal?
I believe, with all of my heart, that we are going to become strangers in a few years time. Under certain circumstances we might meet and hang out, but we will never be able to talk and laugh like we did.
Aren't we already drifting apart now? Or did you not even notice this much?
Did you even try to maintain this friendship? Or did you never found it necessary?
Maybe you simply assumed that everything would be the same even if you did nothing.
Did you notice the change in you? I did, and it makes me sad.
Or maybe I just never really knew you from the start.
What I want I would never be able to get, so why should I try so hard?
At the very end, all I have is disappointment.
Nini @ 9:53 PM
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
there's no such thing as the bright side of life.
always look on the dark, depressing side; maybe then life would seem a little bit brighter.
Nini @ 10:48 PM
Thursday, February 17, 2011
no, after so long that empty ache in my heart still remains.
it's lurking somewhere deep in my heart, and sometimes I would tug it out so that I can torture myself with it.
but then it would sink back inside, emptier and hurting more than ever.
and so once in awhile, I would walk along that path again, to remind myself that I am never deserving of whatever I own today.
and again, hope is paralyzing.
Nini @ 6:23 PM
Saturday, February 12, 2011
so that's what they say.
but when i don't miss anyone. even if i do i won't dream of them.
i always tend to dream of those i've never though of in a very long time.
and my dreams then gets me thinking of them.
am i living in a dream, or is my dream dictating my reality? or maybe my mind is dreaming, yet my body is stuck in reality.
but in my dreams i feel no pain, only fantasy.
off-topic: my dreams are often the reason for my failing to wake up.
Nini @ 6:59 PM
Sunday, January 23, 2011
It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of Annabel Lee;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.
I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea;
But we loved with a love that was more than love-
I and my Annabel Lee;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted her and me.
And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsman came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea.
The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
Went envying her and me-
Yes!- that was the reason (as all men know,
In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.
But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we-
Of many far wiser than we-
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.
For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling- my darling- my life and my bride,
In the sepulchre there by the sea,
In her tomb by the sounding sea.
Edgar Allan Poe
Nini @ 6:50 PM
Sunday, December 05, 2010
gownie has a harem full of cute squids and octopuses.
thou multi-tentacled bloopers.
bobtail squid brushing her throne with a toothbrush. /explodes of its cute
Nini @ 9:01 PM
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
a part of me died when it was taken.
and now it's still painful, the way my heart clenches together when i think of it.
what did i ever do to deserve this?
Nini @ 9:50 PM
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Yeye ;_;
no one's got anything on you.
not superman, not santa, not arnold schwarzenegger, not charlie chaplin (wth?), not ricky martin, not armstrong, not dumbledore, not edward cullen, not justin bieber, not dobby.
they ain't got nothing on you, you sexy piece of meat.
Nini @ 7:50 PM
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Harry Potter exceeded my expectations by a mile. Okay make that two. Or three. Or ten.
There were still loopholes aplenty but it's was very much good enough for me.
Notable points from the movie:
- Emma Watson is one gorgeous babe.
- Harry had chest hair and an uncle body. My eyes oh my eyes DDDD:
- The scene of Harry and Hermione dancing was way random and awkward it had me cringing like mad.
- Dobby and Kreacher were blardy cute.
- Wormtail didn't strangle himself I'm disappointed.
- Nagini scared me. Bad bad nagini.
- Voldemort gives off a sluttish vibe. Don't ask me why I don't know.
- Luna's dad was pretty handsome hurhur. Young Grindelwald too xD
- Fred and George were awesome as always. My all time favourite scene was when Fred/George (don't know which, the one who got his ears sliced) walked in and looked at Harry and Ginny kiss and he said.. I forgot what he said but it was damn funny.
- At the end I thought Voldemort was gonna kiss Dumbledore o.o
- Sexy Snape is one hot greasy-haired man. Even with ahjumma hair. Too bad he only appeared for abit at the beginning of the show boohoo.
Makes me wanna reread the book again. And again. And again. And cry my hearts out at the deaths of Dobby and sexgod!Snape.
Nini @ 10:39 PM